Wedding Toasts 5 Joke

Wedding Toasts 5 Joke


Men should never marry a woman for her beauty alone. That is rather like buying a house just because you like the way it’s painted.My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, and so made sure that she would stay, in better spirits night and day.My opinions are my wife’s, and she says I’m damn lucky to have them.My other wife is beautiful.My wife and I have a perfect understanding; I don’t try to run her life and I don’t try to run mine.My wife doesn’t care what I do away from home, as long as I don’t enjoy it.My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them.My wife ran off with my best friend last week. Gawd, I miss him!My wife says if I go fishing one more time she’s going to leave me. Gosh, I’m going to miss her.My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way.Not all men are fools. Some are bachelors.Nowadays, the only place a single woman can find the best man is at a wedding.One of the safest ways to a*sure a happy marriage is to be sure that the wife is a treasure and the husband a treasury.Please remember that Brandy makes you Randy, Whiskey makes you Frisky, but it’s a good stiff Johnny Walker that makes you Pregnant.Remember, is it as easy to marry a rich woman as a poor woman.Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they’re entitled to a little fun first.Say to the groom, “Your bride will now expect a mink.” Then to the bride, “You know how women get minks? …the same way minks get minks!”She offered her honor, he honored her offer, and all night he was on her and off her.Sign in a marriage counselor’s window: “Out To Lunch, Think It Over.”Single people die earlier. Marriage is healthier. If you’re looking for a long life and a slow death, get married.Some women marry men thinking they’d be real comforters, only to discover they were merely wet blankets.Sorry I can’t make your wedding, I’m half full under the table.Sorry I cannot be at wedding…please send me a photo of the bride and groom mounted.Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one’s wife’s relatives.Take an interest in your husband’s activities: hire a detective.Take heed from those who know Tie you nightie to your toes Close your eyes, hold your nose Then see how it goes…The average person’s life consists of 20 years of their mother asking them where they’re going, 40 years of having their spouse ask the same question, and in the end, all the mourners wonder, too.The bonds of matrimony are a good investment only when the interest is high and sustained.The cooing stops with the honeymoon; the billing goes on forever.The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free.The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage.

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Health Benefits of Laughter

You may have heard that laughter is the best medicine. However, have you ever thought about it or not? Well, laughing and smiling are infectious. Looking at someone and exchanging a smile can make you reciprocate naturally, despite having a rough day. While only a few people out there know the fact that laughter is good for your health. It doesn't only make you feel good but can be a good cure for the blues.

Top 10 health benefits of laughter

To bring more laughter into your life, let's have a look at the key health benefits of laughter below.

1. Tone muscles and burn calories

Healthy laughter can help in burning calories. Even more, laughter also acts as a cheat sheet when it comes to getting a toned stomach. Most importantly, laughing for 10 to 15 minutes can let you burn up to 40 calories. It means watching a 90-minute comic movie can help you to burn up to 240 calories with ease.

2. Reduce anxiety and depression

Laughter can let you relax your entire body. Even more, it can bring tons of benefits to your mental health as well. A good laughter time will not only let you have some joy, but it can also let you relive the feelings of stress, fear, and depression effectively. Laughing can also improve your mood and bring optimistic, positive feelings with ease.

3. Let you sleep sound

Is the last show you watched before sleep is from a comic genre? Then, you have higher chances of getting a peaceful sleep. It is because laughter's good bout before sleeping can reduce anxiety. It can also relax your muscles and help you to have a better sleep quality with ease. It is important after spending a long and hectic day.

4. Improve blood circulation and flow

University of Maryland researchers have found that laughter can improve your blood vessels' health. It can boost their function and cause your blood vessels to expand and dilate. This situation will play a vital role in improving your blood flow and circulation effectively. So, overall, laughter is important to maintain the best level of endothelium.

5. Boost immune system

Laughter can increase antibody-producing cells in your body. It can also enhance T-cells' effectiveness. Consequently, this will reduce the risks of getting cough and the common cold. As it can help improve the immune system, the strong immune system will ultimately keep the infections and allergies at bay. Even more, laughter can reduce negative thoughts that can impact your immune system. Due to this, a happier person is capable of fighting diseases more than others. It is because he is always in the right mind frame, and his immune system will be in a stress-free zone. Consequently, it will improve your overall health.

6. Enhanced respiration

Have you felt a sense of relief and relaxation after laughter? It is because laughing involves deep exhalation. It will, in return, lower your blood pressure and lead you to a calmer state. Like deep breathing, laughing can also offer you a cleansing effect that is beneficial for respiratory ailments.

7. Ease physical pain

Have you ever thought about how laughter can aid in easing your pain? Well, when you laugh, your muscles move. This muscle movement will expand your blood vessels and send more blood to parts of your body. Even more, the breathing rate also increases and oxygen level in your blood, therefore. So, healthy laughter is always the best way to ease pain naturally and effortlessly.

8. Improve memory recall

Scientists at the Loma Linda University have found that laughter can improve learning and memory. It can also reduce cortisol levels as well in your body. Cortisol is a stress hormone that can impact your mind and body negatively. However, laughter can counteract these effects with ease.

9. Protect your heart health

A good laugh can do wonders to improve blood circulation and flow in your body. Even more, it impacts oxygenation as well positively. Also, laughing can boost your heart rate and oxygen consumption immediately and effortlessly. Consequently, this can help in reducing cardiovascular diseases, improving heart health and respiration system.

10. Work as a stress buster.

With every laugh, your face features send a signal to the brain. This signal will help in relieving the endorphins. It will act as a pain killer, reduce stress, and make you feel happy.

Overall, laughter therapy is highly effective in enjoying various health benefits in life. Make sure to have it daily.