Wedding Toasts 2 Joke

Wedding Toasts 2 Joke


A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.A husband should never question his wife’s judgement. Look whom she married!A lifetime in snooker my dearest, it’s happened to you, so don’t forget to chalk his cue and the first game you play make sure it’s at the end of the day.A man is as good as he has to be; a woman as bad as she dares.A man needs a mistress, just to break the monogamy.A wedding is a funeral where a man smells his own flowers.A wedding ring is like a tourniquet; it cuts off your circulation.Advice to submariners: If torpedo overheats, load tube, go deep and eject.Advice to the new bride: You can’t be treated like a doormat if you don’t line down.Advice to the new bride: Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.Two bits of advice to the new bride: One, tell your new husband that you have to have one night a week out with the girls, and, two, don’t waste that night with the girls.After a moment of quite repose It’s tum to tum and toes to toes After a moment of sheer delight It’s back to back for the rest of the night.All marriages are happy; it’s the living together afterward that causes all the problems.All men are born free and equal, but then lots of them grow up and get married.Always talk to your wife while you’re making love…if there’s a phone handy..And the story of the man who called his son Vendetta, because he always had it in for him…And I shall love thee still my dear, until my wife is wise.Anybody who claims that marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition doesn’t know the first thing about women or fractions.As she hears the wedding march, three things are foremost in a bride’s mind: aisle, altar, hymn.As you slide down the bannister of life, may all the marital splinters be pointed in the right direction.Be sure to tie your nightie to your toes, ‘cos you know where the wild goose goes.Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the ‘Y’ becomes silent.Bride, at wedding: Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always wanted a prick like my mother’s.Confucius say man who sink into woman’s arms soon have arms in woman’s sink. Confucius say wife for life is better than wife for strife.Congratulations, rots of ruck, sideways is great.Congratulations and best wishes on this very special day. Love Bill and Mary Farkin and the whole farkin family.Congratulations on finding a socket outlet for your plug!Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I express an appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population.Dear {bride}, Isn’t it funny how history repeats itself? {Age of bride} years ago your mum and dad were putting you to bed with a dummy – and now it’s happening all over again!Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control.Don’t be too liberal at the country party or you’ll wind up in Labor.Don’t buy your bed from Grace Brothers (Myers); they stand behind everything they sell.

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Health Benefits of Laughter

You may have heard that laughter is the best medicine. However, have you ever thought about it or not? Well, laughing and smiling are infectious. Looking at someone and exchanging a smile can make you reciprocate naturally, despite having a rough day. While only a few people out there know the fact that laughter is good for your health. It doesn't only make you feel good but can be a good cure for the blues.

Top 10 health benefits of laughter

To bring more laughter into your life, let's have a look at the key health benefits of laughter below.

1. Tone muscles and burn calories

Healthy laughter can help in burning calories. Even more, laughter also acts as a cheat sheet when it comes to getting a toned stomach. Most importantly, laughing for 10 to 15 minutes can let you burn up to 40 calories. It means watching a 90-minute comic movie can help you to burn up to 240 calories with ease.

2. Reduce anxiety and depression

Laughter can let you relax your entire body. Even more, it can bring tons of benefits to your mental health as well. A good laughter time will not only let you have some joy, but it can also let you relive the feelings of stress, fear, and depression effectively. Laughing can also improve your mood and bring optimistic, positive feelings with ease.

3. Let you sleep sound

Is the last show you watched before sleep is from a comic genre? Then, you have higher chances of getting a peaceful sleep. It is because laughter's good bout before sleeping can reduce anxiety. It can also relax your muscles and help you to have a better sleep quality with ease. It is important after spending a long and hectic day.

4. Improve blood circulation and flow

University of Maryland researchers have found that laughter can improve your blood vessels' health. It can boost their function and cause your blood vessels to expand and dilate. This situation will play a vital role in improving your blood flow and circulation effectively. So, overall, laughter is important to maintain the best level of endothelium.

5. Boost immune system

Laughter can increase antibody-producing cells in your body. It can also enhance T-cells' effectiveness. Consequently, this will reduce the risks of getting cough and the common cold. As it can help improve the immune system, the strong immune system will ultimately keep the infections and allergies at bay. Even more, laughter can reduce negative thoughts that can impact your immune system. Due to this, a happier person is capable of fighting diseases more than others. It is because he is always in the right mind frame, and his immune system will be in a stress-free zone. Consequently, it will improve your overall health.

6. Enhanced respiration

Have you felt a sense of relief and relaxation after laughter? It is because laughing involves deep exhalation. It will, in return, lower your blood pressure and lead you to a calmer state. Like deep breathing, laughing can also offer you a cleansing effect that is beneficial for respiratory ailments.

7. Ease physical pain

Have you ever thought about how laughter can aid in easing your pain? Well, when you laugh, your muscles move. This muscle movement will expand your blood vessels and send more blood to parts of your body. Even more, the breathing rate also increases and oxygen level in your blood, therefore. So, healthy laughter is always the best way to ease pain naturally and effortlessly.

8. Improve memory recall

Scientists at the Loma Linda University have found that laughter can improve learning and memory. It can also reduce cortisol levels as well in your body. Cortisol is a stress hormone that can impact your mind and body negatively. However, laughter can counteract these effects with ease.

9. Protect your heart health

A good laugh can do wonders to improve blood circulation and flow in your body. Even more, it impacts oxygenation as well positively. Also, laughing can boost your heart rate and oxygen consumption immediately and effortlessly. Consequently, this can help in reducing cardiovascular diseases, improving heart health and respiration system.

10. Work as a stress buster.

With every laugh, your face features send a signal to the brain. This signal will help in relieving the endorphins. It will act as a pain killer, reduce stress, and make you feel happy.

Overall, laughter therapy is highly effective in enjoying various health benefits in life. Make sure to have it daily.