Twas The Night Before Christmas At The White House Joke

Twas The Night Before Christmas At The White House Joke


Twas the night before Christmas and throughout the White House,Al Gore was eyeing Hillary, peering into her blouse.The Secret Service were guarding the premises with care,for a whole host of Democrats were vacationing there.As Chelsea was nestled all snug in her bed,dirty thoughts swam around Mr. Kennedy’s head.And Bill in his sportcoat; a heavy gray tweed,had just fried his brain with some Mexican weed.When out in the garden came a plethora of noise,all drunken and rowdy: ’twas Newt and the boys!Bill jumped to the window, and tore open the sash,”It’s a raid boys!” he cried, “Quick, go hide my stash!”The pot in his blood and the moon on the snow,gave a psychedelic haze to the objects below.When what to Bill’s frantic eyes should appear, but a slew of Republicans and a keg of ice beer.With a big House leader, all lively and fat:He knew it was Newt, the proponent of GATT!As viscous as vipers, the Republicans came,and Bill recognized them and called them by name.”Hey Helms, Hey Thurmond! Hey Packwood and Hatch!Hey Dole and Pataki, it’s time for a bash!”A collective cheer rose out from the crowd,”Let’s listen to Nugent, and turn it up loud!”Together Dems and Republicans danced and sang out in cheer”Screw health care and Haiti, it’s time to drink beer!”When from the chimney, came a big black cloud of soot,as Limbaugh danced from the fireplace in a red Santa suit.He moved through the crowd, then held up his hand,and when all was silent, he did a keg stand.And the crowd raised their cups, as Newt bowed down in prayer,and champagne flowed freely, just like welfare.As Kennedy and Reno romped in the Green Room,the rest of the crooks outlined their plan of doom.”We’ll pray in the schools, shove it down their throats!””More welfare, more taxes, we’ll still get the votes!”And they drank, hugged and danced, they crossed party lines.They cheered, “It doesn’t matter, we’re all bastard swines!”So they threw out allegiance and partisan crap,and they took turns sitting on the President’s lap.And Gephardt and Dole pa*sed out on the lawn,and awoke in the morning without their pants on.And Packwood gave Tipper a pat on the rear.While Judge Thomas and Miss Hill went out for more beer.Then the party-ers discovered a sight so touching and cute,President Clinton fast asleep, snuggled up next to Newt.Santa Limbaugh smiled and threw up on his boots,”A merry Clinton to all, and to all a good Newt!”

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Health Benefits of Laughter

You may have heard that laughter is the best medicine. However, have you ever thought about it or not? Well, laughing and smiling are infectious. Looking at someone and exchanging a smile can make you reciprocate naturally, despite having a rough day. While only a few people out there know the fact that laughter is good for your health. It doesn't only make you feel good but can be a good cure for the blues.

Top 10 health benefits of laughter

To bring more laughter into your life, let's have a look at the key health benefits of laughter below.

1. Tone muscles and burn calories

Healthy laughter can help in burning calories. Even more, laughter also acts as a cheat sheet when it comes to getting a toned stomach. Most importantly, laughing for 10 to 15 minutes can let you burn up to 40 calories. It means watching a 90-minute comic movie can help you to burn up to 240 calories with ease.

2. Reduce anxiety and depression

Laughter can let you relax your entire body. Even more, it can bring tons of benefits to your mental health as well. A good laughter time will not only let you have some joy, but it can also let you relive the feelings of stress, fear, and depression effectively. Laughing can also improve your mood and bring optimistic, positive feelings with ease.

3. Let you sleep sound

Is the last show you watched before sleep is from a comic genre? Then, you have higher chances of getting a peaceful sleep. It is because laughter's good bout before sleeping can reduce anxiety. It can also relax your muscles and help you to have a better sleep quality with ease. It is important after spending a long and hectic day.

4. Improve blood circulation and flow

University of Maryland researchers have found that laughter can improve your blood vessels' health. It can boost their function and cause your blood vessels to expand and dilate. This situation will play a vital role in improving your blood flow and circulation effectively. So, overall, laughter is important to maintain the best level of endothelium.

5. Boost immune system

Laughter can increase antibody-producing cells in your body. It can also enhance T-cells' effectiveness. Consequently, this will reduce the risks of getting cough and the common cold. As it can help improve the immune system, the strong immune system will ultimately keep the infections and allergies at bay. Even more, laughter can reduce negative thoughts that can impact your immune system. Due to this, a happier person is capable of fighting diseases more than others. It is because he is always in the right mind frame, and his immune system will be in a stress-free zone. Consequently, it will improve your overall health.

6. Enhanced respiration

Have you felt a sense of relief and relaxation after laughter? It is because laughing involves deep exhalation. It will, in return, lower your blood pressure and lead you to a calmer state. Like deep breathing, laughing can also offer you a cleansing effect that is beneficial for respiratory ailments.

7. Ease physical pain

Have you ever thought about how laughter can aid in easing your pain? Well, when you laugh, your muscles move. This muscle movement will expand your blood vessels and send more blood to parts of your body. Even more, the breathing rate also increases and oxygen level in your blood, therefore. So, healthy laughter is always the best way to ease pain naturally and effortlessly.

8. Improve memory recall

Scientists at the Loma Linda University have found that laughter can improve learning and memory. It can also reduce cortisol levels as well in your body. Cortisol is a stress hormone that can impact your mind and body negatively. However, laughter can counteract these effects with ease.

9. Protect your heart health

A good laugh can do wonders to improve blood circulation and flow in your body. Even more, it impacts oxygenation as well positively. Also, laughing can boost your heart rate and oxygen consumption immediately and effortlessly. Consequently, this can help in reducing cardiovascular diseases, improving heart health and respiration system.

10. Work as a stress buster.

With every laugh, your face features send a signal to the brain. This signal will help in relieving the endorphins. It will act as a pain killer, reduce stress, and make you feel happy.

Overall, laughter therapy is highly effective in enjoying various health benefits in life. Make sure to have it daily.