Life of a Senior Citizen…I’m the life of the party…even when it lasts till 8 p.m.I’m very good at opening child-proof caps with a hammer.I’m usually interested in going home before I get to where I’m going.I’m good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, beano, & antacid.I’m awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.I’m smiling all the time because I can’t hear a word you are saying.I’m aware that other people’s grandchildren are not as bright as mine.I’m so cared for: Long term care, Eye care, Private care, Dental care . . .I’m not grouchy, I just don’t like traffic, waiting, crowds, children, politicians.I’m sure everything I can’t find is in a secure place.I’m wrinkled, saggy and bumpy and that’s just my left leg.I’m realizing that aging is not for sissies.I’m anti-everything now: Anti-fat, Anti-smoke, Anti-noise, Anti-inflammatoryI’m going to reveal what goes on behind closed doors . . .Absolutely nothing!I’m sure they are making adults much younger these days.I’m in the initial stage of my golden years: SS, CD’s, IRA’s, AARP. . .I’m wondering . . If you’re only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?I’m supporting all movements now . . .by eating bran, prunes and raisins.I’m a walking storeroom of facts . . .I’ve just lost the storeroom.
Tag: Miscellaneous Jokes