Noah And Today’s Ark Joke

Noah And Today’s Ark Joke

Noah And Today’s ArkThe Lord spoke to Noah and said, “Noah, in six months I am goingto make it rain until the whole world is covered with water andall the evil things are destroyed. But, I want to save a few goodpeople and two of every living thing on the planet. I am orderingyou to build an ark.” And, in a flash of lightning, he deliveredthe specifications for the ark.”OK,” Noah said, trembling with fear and fumbling with theblueprints, “I’m your man.””Six months and it starts to rain,” thundered the Lord. “Youbetter have my ark completed or learn to swim for a long, longtime!”Six months pa*sed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain beganto fall in torrents. The Lord looked down and saw Noah sitting inhis yard, weeping, and there was no ark.”Noah!” shouted the Lord, “where is My ark?” A lightning boltcrashed into the ground right beside Noah.”Lord, please forgive me!” begged Noah. “I did my best, but therewere some big problems. First, I had to get a building permit forthe ark’s construction, but your plans did not meet their code.So, I had to hire an engineer to redo the plans, only to get intoa long argument with him about whether to include afire-sprinkler system.””My neighbors objected, claiming that I was violating zoningordinances by building the ark in my front yard, so I had to geta variance from the city planning board.””Then, I had a big problem getting enough wood for the ark,because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the spotted owl.I tried to convince the environmentalists and the U.S. Fish andWildlife Service that I needed the wood to save the owls, butthey wouldn’t let me catch them, so no owls.””Next, I started gathering up the animals but got sued by ananimal rights group that objected to me taking along only two ofeach kind.””Just when the suit got dismissed, the EPA notified me that Icouldn’t complete the ark without filing an environmental impactstatement on your proposed flood. They didn’t take kindly to theidea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a SupremeBeing.””Then, the Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed floodplan. I sent them a globe!””Right now, I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with theEqual Opportunities Commission over how many minorities I’msupposed to hire.””The IRS has seized all my a*sets claiming that I am trying toleave the country, and I just got a notice from the state that Iowe some kind of use tax. Really, I don’t think I can finish theark in less than five years.”With that, the sky cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbowarched across the sky.Noah looked up and smiled. “You mean you are not going to destroythe world?” he asked hopefully.”No,” said the Lord, “the government already has.”

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Health Benefits of Laughter

You may have heard that laughter is the best medicine. However, have you ever thought about it or not? Well, laughing and smiling are infectious. Looking at someone and exchanging a smile can make you reciprocate naturally, despite having a rough day. While only a few people out there know the fact that laughter is good for your health. It doesn't only make you feel good but can be a good cure for the blues.

Top 10 health benefits of laughter

To bring more laughter into your life, let's have a look at the key health benefits of laughter below.

1. Tone muscles and burn calories

Healthy laughter can help in burning calories. Even more, laughter also acts as a cheat sheet when it comes to getting a toned stomach. Most importantly, laughing for 10 to 15 minutes can let you burn up to 40 calories. It means watching a 90-minute comic movie can help you to burn up to 240 calories with ease.

2. Reduce anxiety and depression

Laughter can let you relax your entire body. Even more, it can bring tons of benefits to your mental health as well. A good laughter time will not only let you have some joy, but it can also let you relive the feelings of stress, fear, and depression effectively. Laughing can also improve your mood and bring optimistic, positive feelings with ease.

3. Let you sleep sound

Is the last show you watched before sleep is from a comic genre? Then, you have higher chances of getting a peaceful sleep. It is because laughter's good bout before sleeping can reduce anxiety. It can also relax your muscles and help you to have a better sleep quality with ease. It is important after spending a long and hectic day.

4. Improve blood circulation and flow

University of Maryland researchers have found that laughter can improve your blood vessels' health. It can boost their function and cause your blood vessels to expand and dilate. This situation will play a vital role in improving your blood flow and circulation effectively. So, overall, laughter is important to maintain the best level of endothelium.

5. Boost immune system

Laughter can increase antibody-producing cells in your body. It can also enhance T-cells' effectiveness. Consequently, this will reduce the risks of getting cough and the common cold. As it can help improve the immune system, the strong immune system will ultimately keep the infections and allergies at bay. Even more, laughter can reduce negative thoughts that can impact your immune system. Due to this, a happier person is capable of fighting diseases more than others. It is because he is always in the right mind frame, and his immune system will be in a stress-free zone. Consequently, it will improve your overall health.

6. Enhanced respiration

Have you felt a sense of relief and relaxation after laughter? It is because laughing involves deep exhalation. It will, in return, lower your blood pressure and lead you to a calmer state. Like deep breathing, laughing can also offer you a cleansing effect that is beneficial for respiratory ailments.

7. Ease physical pain

Have you ever thought about how laughter can aid in easing your pain? Well, when you laugh, your muscles move. This muscle movement will expand your blood vessels and send more blood to parts of your body. Even more, the breathing rate also increases and oxygen level in your blood, therefore. So, healthy laughter is always the best way to ease pain naturally and effortlessly.

8. Improve memory recall

Scientists at the Loma Linda University have found that laughter can improve learning and memory. It can also reduce cortisol levels as well in your body. Cortisol is a stress hormone that can impact your mind and body negatively. However, laughter can counteract these effects with ease.

9. Protect your heart health

A good laugh can do wonders to improve blood circulation and flow in your body. Even more, it impacts oxygenation as well positively. Also, laughing can boost your heart rate and oxygen consumption immediately and effortlessly. Consequently, this can help in reducing cardiovascular diseases, improving heart health and respiration system.

10. Work as a stress buster.

With every laugh, your face features send a signal to the brain. This signal will help in relieving the endorphins. It will act as a pain killer, reduce stress, and make you feel happy.

Overall, laughter therapy is highly effective in enjoying various health benefits in life. Make sure to have it daily.