Marriage Quotes 4 Joke

Marriage Quotes 4 Joke


The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. – Groucho MarxWe in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. – Groucho MarxI was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho MarxPolitics doesn’t make strange bedfellows, marriage does. – Groucho MarxEighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. – Jackie MasonPerfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands… but English women only hope to find in their butlers. – W. Somerset MaughamThere’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage. – James Holt McGavranMarriage was all a woman’s idea and for man’s acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to be grateful. – Phyllis McGinleyMen have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. – H. L. MenckenBachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too. – H. L. MenckenWe must respect the other fellow’s religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. – H.L. MenckenLove is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another. – H. L. MenckenLove is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them. – H. L. MenckenMan is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another hanging on to his coattails. – H. L. MenckenWhenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an inquest. – H. L. MenckenLove cures people, both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it. – Dr. Karl MenningerA lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house. – MoliereMarriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. – MontaigneA good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. – MontaigneIf a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings. – Lisa Moriyama, July 3, 1989A husband is a guy who tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. – Ogden NashTo keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up. – Ogden NashA woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be a*sisted by a little physical antipathy. – NietzscheLove matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother. – NeitzscheNever be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. – PJ O’RourkeNo woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in love with him first. – Cesare PaveseA White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are great riches. – Poor Jimmy’s AlmanacIt doesn’t much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out next morning it was someone else. – RogersA husband is what’s left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. – Helen RowlandWhen a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one. – Helen RowlandWhen you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living. – Helen RowlandIn olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced. – Helen RowlandI think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry. – Rita RudnerIf you never want to see a man again, say, “I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children…”; they leave skid marks. – Rita RudnerHappy Vasectomy, Eric. Your loving wife and children: Chris, Aida, George, Carol, Yolanda, Joan, Shirley, Susan, Anita, Aileen, Jackie, Shelia, Bruce, Dean, Frank and Maxine. – Rolling Stone Cla*sified AdDon’t marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. – Scottish Proverb

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Health Benefits of Laughter

You may have heard that laughter is the best medicine. However, have you ever thought about it or not? Well, laughing and smiling are infectious. Looking at someone and exchanging a smile can make you reciprocate naturally, despite having a rough day. While only a few people out there know the fact that laughter is good for your health. It doesn't only make you feel good but can be a good cure for the blues.

Top 10 health benefits of laughter

To bring more laughter into your life, let's have a look at the key health benefits of laughter below.

1. Tone muscles and burn calories

Healthy laughter can help in burning calories. Even more, laughter also acts as a cheat sheet when it comes to getting a toned stomach. Most importantly, laughing for 10 to 15 minutes can let you burn up to 40 calories. It means watching a 90-minute comic movie can help you to burn up to 240 calories with ease.

2. Reduce anxiety and depression

Laughter can let you relax your entire body. Even more, it can bring tons of benefits to your mental health as well. A good laughter time will not only let you have some joy, but it can also let you relive the feelings of stress, fear, and depression effectively. Laughing can also improve your mood and bring optimistic, positive feelings with ease.

3. Let you sleep sound

Is the last show you watched before sleep is from a comic genre? Then, you have higher chances of getting a peaceful sleep. It is because laughter's good bout before sleeping can reduce anxiety. It can also relax your muscles and help you to have a better sleep quality with ease. It is important after spending a long and hectic day.

4. Improve blood circulation and flow

University of Maryland researchers have found that laughter can improve your blood vessels' health. It can boost their function and cause your blood vessels to expand and dilate. This situation will play a vital role in improving your blood flow and circulation effectively. So, overall, laughter is important to maintain the best level of endothelium.

5. Boost immune system

Laughter can increase antibody-producing cells in your body. It can also enhance T-cells' effectiveness. Consequently, this will reduce the risks of getting cough and the common cold. As it can help improve the immune system, the strong immune system will ultimately keep the infections and allergies at bay. Even more, laughter can reduce negative thoughts that can impact your immune system. Due to this, a happier person is capable of fighting diseases more than others. It is because he is always in the right mind frame, and his immune system will be in a stress-free zone. Consequently, it will improve your overall health.

6. Enhanced respiration

Have you felt a sense of relief and relaxation after laughter? It is because laughing involves deep exhalation. It will, in return, lower your blood pressure and lead you to a calmer state. Like deep breathing, laughing can also offer you a cleansing effect that is beneficial for respiratory ailments.

7. Ease physical pain

Have you ever thought about how laughter can aid in easing your pain? Well, when you laugh, your muscles move. This muscle movement will expand your blood vessels and send more blood to parts of your body. Even more, the breathing rate also increases and oxygen level in your blood, therefore. So, healthy laughter is always the best way to ease pain naturally and effortlessly.

8. Improve memory recall

Scientists at the Loma Linda University have found that laughter can improve learning and memory. It can also reduce cortisol levels as well in your body. Cortisol is a stress hormone that can impact your mind and body negatively. However, laughter can counteract these effects with ease.

9. Protect your heart health

A good laugh can do wonders to improve blood circulation and flow in your body. Even more, it impacts oxygenation as well positively. Also, laughing can boost your heart rate and oxygen consumption immediately and effortlessly. Consequently, this can help in reducing cardiovascular diseases, improving heart health and respiration system.

10. Work as a stress buster.

With every laugh, your face features send a signal to the brain. This signal will help in relieving the endorphins. It will act as a pain killer, reduce stress, and make you feel happy.

Overall, laughter therapy is highly effective in enjoying various health benefits in life. Make sure to have it daily.