Insurance Claim Statements Joke

Insurance Claim Statements Joke

English Jokes 2023

1) Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.2) The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.3) I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my hand through it.4) I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.5) A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.6) A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.7) I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the other way.8) I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.9) In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.10) I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision.11) I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.12) I was on my way to the doctors with rear end trouble, when my universal joints gave way, causing me to have an accident.13) Upon collision and in a flash of blue, I hit my head, twisted my neck, and tossed the lower part of my body out the side window.14) To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.15) My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.16) An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.17) I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a skull fracture.18) I was sure the old fellow would not make it to the other side of the street when I struck him.19) The pedestrian had no idea which way to go, so I ran over him.20) I saw the slow moving, sad faced gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.21) I was thrown from my car as it left the road, I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.22) The telephone pole was approaching fast. I attempted to swerve out of its way, when it struck the front of my car.23) The accident occurred with me waving to the man I hit last week.24) I hit a bus stop sign that was obscured by human beings.25) The pedestrian was all over the road, I had to swerve a few times before I hit him.26) A bull was standing near and a fly must have tickled him as he gored my car.27) A stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.28) I immediately applied my brakes as the vehicle struck the cement wall, thus bringing my car to a complete halt.29) I left my car unattended for a minute when by accident it ran away.31) I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress, then we met on impact.32) I struck the young man with my husband’s car. He wanted to call the police but after having a look at my particulars he decided we should go to his apartment and settle things in private.33) I thought I could squeeze between two trucks when my car became squashed.34) I thought my car was in reverse but I found otherwise when it lurched forward, doing injury to a parking meter. When the police arrived the meter had expired.35) I was contemplating continuous travel of a relaxing nature when, without due justification or color of right, my vehicle was struck in the rear by a vehicle driven by a person of obvious sub-normal intelligence.36) I was on my way through a green light, with 3 witnesses, on the way to the accident that was about to happen.37) I was thrown from my car as I left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.38) I was unable to control my car when it went berserk and struck another vehicle.39) I was unable to stop in time, and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and pa*sengers left immediately for a vacation with injuries.40) My car hit a pothole and came to rest approximately fifteen feet below the surface of the road.41) My girlfriend kissed me. I lost control and woke up in the hospital.42) My mind became confused by a sign that read “Free Puppy for Sale”. The next thing I remember, I was in the ditch.43) No one was to blame for the accident but it never would have happened if the other driver had been alert.44) The accident happened when a right front door of a car came around the corner without giving a signal.45) The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.46) The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in the bush with just his rear end showing.47) The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.48) The other car attempted to cut in front of me, so I, with my right front fender, removed his left rear tail light.49) The other driver looked like the usual lane-hopping type with thick horn rimmed gla*ses, pimply faced, brown suit and thick soled s***s.50) The other driver struck my car with an Expired Drivers License then left the scene of the accident.51) There was a heavy fog and I was unable to find the traffic lights. A witness told the police that the other driver had the lights with him when he entered the intersection.52) When I pressed the windshield spray button my car left the road and struck a fire hydrant. I was unable to see the road because of the spray. My windows are clean.53) When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.

Tag: Miscellaneous Jokes

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Health Benefits of Laughter

You may have heard that laughter is the best medicine. However, have you ever thought about it or not? Well, laughing and smiling are infectious. Looking at someone and exchanging a smile can make you reciprocate naturally, despite having a rough day. While only a few people out there know the fact that laughter is good for your health. It doesn't only make you feel good but can be a good cure for the blues.

Top 10 health benefits of laughter

To bring more laughter into your life, let's have a look at the key health benefits of laughter below.

1. Tone muscles and burn calories

Healthy laughter can help in burning calories. Even more, laughter also acts as a cheat sheet when it comes to getting a toned stomach. Most importantly, laughing for 10 to 15 minutes can let you burn up to 40 calories. It means watching a 90-minute comic movie can help you to burn up to 240 calories with ease.

2. Reduce anxiety and depression

Laughter can let you relax your entire body. Even more, it can bring tons of benefits to your mental health as well. A good laughter time will not only let you have some joy, but it can also let you relive the feelings of stress, fear, and depression effectively. Laughing can also improve your mood and bring optimistic, positive feelings with ease.

3. Let you sleep sound

Is the last show you watched before sleep is from a comic genre? Then, you have higher chances of getting a peaceful sleep. It is because laughter's good bout before sleeping can reduce anxiety. It can also relax your muscles and help you to have a better sleep quality with ease. It is important after spending a long and hectic day.

4. Improve blood circulation and flow

University of Maryland researchers have found that laughter can improve your blood vessels' health. It can boost their function and cause your blood vessels to expand and dilate. This situation will play a vital role in improving your blood flow and circulation effectively. So, overall, laughter is important to maintain the best level of endothelium.

5. Boost immune system

Laughter can increase antibody-producing cells in your body. It can also enhance T-cells' effectiveness. Consequently, this will reduce the risks of getting cough and the common cold. As it can help improve the immune system, the strong immune system will ultimately keep the infections and allergies at bay. Even more, laughter can reduce negative thoughts that can impact your immune system. Due to this, a happier person is capable of fighting diseases more than others. It is because he is always in the right mind frame, and his immune system will be in a stress-free zone. Consequently, it will improve your overall health.

6. Enhanced respiration

Have you felt a sense of relief and relaxation after laughter? It is because laughing involves deep exhalation. It will, in return, lower your blood pressure and lead you to a calmer state. Like deep breathing, laughing can also offer you a cleansing effect that is beneficial for respiratory ailments.

7. Ease physical pain

Have you ever thought about how laughter can aid in easing your pain? Well, when you laugh, your muscles move. This muscle movement will expand your blood vessels and send more blood to parts of your body. Even more, the breathing rate also increases and oxygen level in your blood, therefore. So, healthy laughter is always the best way to ease pain naturally and effortlessly.

8. Improve memory recall

Scientists at the Loma Linda University have found that laughter can improve learning and memory. It can also reduce cortisol levels as well in your body. Cortisol is a stress hormone that can impact your mind and body negatively. However, laughter can counteract these effects with ease.

9. Protect your heart health

A good laugh can do wonders to improve blood circulation and flow in your body. Even more, it impacts oxygenation as well positively. Also, laughing can boost your heart rate and oxygen consumption immediately and effortlessly. Consequently, this can help in reducing cardiovascular diseases, improving heart health and respiration system.

10. Work as a stress buster.

With every laugh, your face features send a signal to the brain. This signal will help in relieving the endorphins. It will act as a pain killer, reduce stress, and make you feel happy.

Overall, laughter therapy is highly effective in enjoying various health benefits in life. Make sure to have it daily.

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