Daylight Savings Time Reform Joke

Daylight Savings Time Reform Joke

English Jokes 2023

Immodest Proposal #1: Daylight Savings Time Reform Richard S. Holmes, [email protected] It happens every spring: crocuses, baseball (with any luck), and the switch toDaylight Savings Time (DST).Coming off DST is not hard. In the Fall, we set our clocks back one hour. Weall get an extra hour to sleep, and those who forget find themselves at church,or the airport, or wherever an hour early. Embara*sing, but not catastrophic.But in the Spring we set the clocks forward, and the trouble begins. We losean hour of sleep. Forgetful people miss Ma*s, planes, breakfast, and the biggame on TV. Some are thrown into disarray for up to a full week. Annuallosses due to DST confusion have been estimated (by me) at over a milliondollars. I myself have missed a flight to Washington and a showing of TheSeven Samurai because of DST.There is no need for such tragic waste. We can — we should and must — urgeour lawmakers to reform Daylight Savings Time as follows:Setting clocks back is easy; setting them forward is difficult. Therefore, letus keep the fall ritual as it is. However, one Sunday each Spring, let us setour clocks not one hour forward, but TWENTY-THREE HOURS BACKWARD.Think of all the advantages. We will not lose an hour of sleep; we will gain(almost) a day of rest. It will be Saturday all over again. You will neveragain miss Confession, or an airplane, or the Redskins game.Naturally, if this were the whole plan, our calendars would fall behind one dayin each year. However, the second part of the Revised DST Plan deals withthis. Every four years, instead of adding a day, let us SUBTRACT THREE DAYS.Furthermore, let these be Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, which according torecent polls are the least popular days.If done in February, which seems reasonable considering what a miserable monthit is, this would have the beneficial side effect of shortening theexcruciating presidential primary season by an effective four days.The advantages of this plan are clear. Let us waste no time. With a determinedeffort we can have Reformed Daylight Savings Time by Spring of next year.Write your congressperson today!

Tag: Miscellaneous Jokes

Do you have a joke? share it with us! Click on the button bellow to send us your joke.

Rate this Joke:
4.2/5 - (69 votes)

Topic of Interest:

Leave a Comment

Health Benefits of Laughter

You may have heard that laughter is the best medicine. However, have you ever thought about it or not? Well, laughing and smiling are infectious. Looking at someone and exchanging a smile can make you reciprocate naturally, despite having a rough day. While only a few people out there know the fact that laughter is good for your health. It doesn't only make you feel good but can be a good cure for the blues.

Top 10 health benefits of laughter

To bring more laughter into your life, let's have a look at the key health benefits of laughter below.

1. Tone muscles and burn calories

Healthy laughter can help in burning calories. Even more, laughter also acts as a cheat sheet when it comes to getting a toned stomach. Most importantly, laughing for 10 to 15 minutes can let you burn up to 40 calories. It means watching a 90-minute comic movie can help you to burn up to 240 calories with ease.

2. Reduce anxiety and depression

Laughter can let you relax your entire body. Even more, it can bring tons of benefits to your mental health as well. A good laughter time will not only let you have some joy, but it can also let you relive the feelings of stress, fear, and depression effectively. Laughing can also improve your mood and bring optimistic, positive feelings with ease.

3. Let you sleep sound

Is the last show you watched before sleep is from a comic genre? Then, you have higher chances of getting a peaceful sleep. It is because laughter's good bout before sleeping can reduce anxiety. It can also relax your muscles and help you to have a better sleep quality with ease. It is important after spending a long and hectic day.

4. Improve blood circulation and flow

University of Maryland researchers have found that laughter can improve your blood vessels' health. It can boost their function and cause your blood vessels to expand and dilate. This situation will play a vital role in improving your blood flow and circulation effectively. So, overall, laughter is important to maintain the best level of endothelium.

5. Boost immune system

Laughter can increase antibody-producing cells in your body. It can also enhance T-cells' effectiveness. Consequently, this will reduce the risks of getting cough and the common cold. As it can help improve the immune system, the strong immune system will ultimately keep the infections and allergies at bay. Even more, laughter can reduce negative thoughts that can impact your immune system. Due to this, a happier person is capable of fighting diseases more than others. It is because he is always in the right mind frame, and his immune system will be in a stress-free zone. Consequently, it will improve your overall health.

6. Enhanced respiration

Have you felt a sense of relief and relaxation after laughter? It is because laughing involves deep exhalation. It will, in return, lower your blood pressure and lead you to a calmer state. Like deep breathing, laughing can also offer you a cleansing effect that is beneficial for respiratory ailments.

7. Ease physical pain

Have you ever thought about how laughter can aid in easing your pain? Well, when you laugh, your muscles move. This muscle movement will expand your blood vessels and send more blood to parts of your body. Even more, the breathing rate also increases and oxygen level in your blood, therefore. So, healthy laughter is always the best way to ease pain naturally and effortlessly.

8. Improve memory recall

Scientists at the Loma Linda University have found that laughter can improve learning and memory. It can also reduce cortisol levels as well in your body. Cortisol is a stress hormone that can impact your mind and body negatively. However, laughter can counteract these effects with ease.

9. Protect your heart health

A good laugh can do wonders to improve blood circulation and flow in your body. Even more, it impacts oxygenation as well positively. Also, laughing can boost your heart rate and oxygen consumption immediately and effortlessly. Consequently, this can help in reducing cardiovascular diseases, improving heart health and respiration system.

10. Work as a stress buster.

With every laugh, your face features send a signal to the brain. This signal will help in relieving the endorphins. It will act as a pain killer, reduce stress, and make you feel happy.

Overall, laughter therapy is highly effective in enjoying various health benefits in life. Make sure to have it daily.

Ads Blocker Image Powered by Code Help Pro

Ads Blocker Detected!!!

We have detected that you are using extensions to block ads. Please support us by disabling these ads blocker.

Blonde On Computer Joke :