An Office World truck ploughed into my car me last week, killing my son in the back seat, giving me severe whiplash and leaving my motor totally written off. Now, to add insult to injury it looks like...
Saw this on twibbon, they didn't need to tell us it was about america.
"We believe that America was founded on the principles of individual freedom, limited government, and a free market. We acknowled...
I turned to my mate and said, "You know, there should be a World Bacon Day."
"That's brilliant!" He said, "It'd be like having two Christmases in one year!"
"I know, something else those filthy Jews c...
I still remember the day me and my other half were viciously attacked by a group of good-for-nothing Saudi's. There we were standing together on a beautiful morning, right in the middle of a crowded c...
My geeky friends won't stop talking about comic books and superheroes. I didn't mind so much until I went to see one of them at home. He showed me his entire comic collection, which had to be in the t...
My son came home from school today and said 'In school today, I couldn't find a rubber so I used my finger, And it worked!'
I replied 'If I used my finger, when I couldn't find a rubber, Then you woul...
If there is one thing that irritates me about my wife it is the way she dresses. For instance, she spent about an hour trying to put on some underwear this morning.
She argues that she would have got...
I was at a party with some mates the other day and one of them said to me, "Is that the queue for the punch bowl over there?"
So I went over to the queue to find out and was told that it was actually ...
I was in a really loud nightclub last night when a gorgeous girl came up to me and shouted what sounded like, "Do you fancy Afuq?"
I leant over and, with my mouth to her ear said, "I doubt it, with a ...
The girlfriend asked me " how many women have you slept with"?
I said " I won't give you the number but I can count them all on one hand."
"Brilliant" she said.
And under my breath I counted 5,10,15,2...
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