I lost my job at the teddy bear factory today. They said I lied about my previous experience on my CV.
"I did not lie," I raged, "You just misunderstood. I really did spend 6 months working as a Fluff...
I went to a Chinese restaurant and ordered a meal. Ten minutes later this duck waddles up to me,gives me a single red rose and says, "Your lips are like rubies and your eyes sparkle like diamonds". I...
Invited my Indian mate over for lunch with my family yesterday, when suddenly my mum turned to him and said:
'Mohammed?'
'Mum!', I shouted, 'you know that's not his name you racist!'
'Yes,' she replie...
I told my wife I'd bought a time machine but she didn't believe me so I pulled out a gun.
She said, "That's a gun you idiot, not a time machine."
"Yeah I know," I replied as I shot her in the head and...
I coach a schoolboy football team. In today's match, and the very last kick of the game, our goalkeeper let the ball through his legs and gave away the goal that cost us the match.
After the game he c...
My wife just had our first baby. I walked into the delivery room, looked down upon his little brown, distinct eyes so similar that I knew he was mine.
And his little black face that made me doubt it.....
The school Career's Adviser is speaking to Johns dad. "Frankly," he said, "Your son is rude, churlish,vacant with an intelligence level bordering on moronic. On the rare occasions that I can extract a...
Whats worse than waking up with a lot of pubic hair stuck between your teeth?
Waking up with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth..
I thought the worst thing was waking up with...
An Office World truck ploughed into my car me last week, killing my son in the back seat, giving me severe whiplash and leaving my motor totally written off. Now, to add insult to injury it looks like...
I was telling my parents all about my project to build my own computer the other day. I went into lots of detail about all the different parts and components and my dad was really interested, but it j...
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