A priest is hearing confessions one afternoon when he has to go to the bathroom. He calls janitor over to take his place. The janitor resists saying he isn’t a Catholic or a priest and will not know what to say. The priest assures him that everything will be fine if he just follows the chart in the confessional.
“If someone comes in and says they have stolen, you tell them to say two Hail Mary’s and don’t do it again,” explains the priest. “Just follow the chart.” And with that, the priest leaves.
The janitor sits down, and in walks a man to confess.
“Forgive me father for I have sinned. I have had anal sex with another man.”
The janitor is shocked! He keeps going over the chart, trying to find a reference to anal sex and can’t find any. He starts to get worried and opens the confession door, and asks a nearby choirboy, “What does the father give for anal sex?”
“Well,” says the choirboy, “usually it’s a T-shirt and a candy bar.”