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Proud To Be From The South

Proud To Be From The South



SOME NEWS: Southerners  have the lowest stress rate because they do not take  medical terminology seriously.  You are going to die anyway, so  live life  (and don’t worry so much).  
Southerner’s Medical Dictionary  
Artery…………………………. The study of paintings
Bacteria……………………… Back door to the cafeteria  
Barium………………………. What doctors do when patients die  
Benign………………………. What you be, after you be eight  
Caesarean Section………. A neighborhood in Rome    
Cat scan……………………. Searching for Kitty  
Cauterize…………………… Made eye contact with her  
Colic……………………………. A sheep dog  
Coma…………………………. A punctuation mark  
Dilate…………………………. To live long  
Enema……………………….. Not a friend  
Fester……………………….. Quicker than someone else  
Fibula……………………….. A small lie  
Impotent……………………. Distinguished, well known  
Labor Pain………………. Getting hurt at work  
Medical Staff………………. A Doctor’s cane  
Morbid………………………. A higher offer  
Nitrates…………………….. Cheaper than day rates  
Node………………………… I knew it  
Outpatient…………………. A person who has fainted  
Pelvis……………………….. Second cousin to Elvis  
Post Operative……………. A letter carrier  
Recovery Room…………. Place to do upholstery  
Rectum…………………….. Damn near killed him  
Secretion………………….. Hiding something  
Seizure…………………….. Roman emperor  
Tablet……………………….. A small table  
Terminal Illness…………. Getting sick at the airport  
Tumor………………………..  One plus one more  
Urine…………………………  Opposite of you’re out



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