Things Not To Do At A Hostage Negotiation Joke

Things Not To Do At A Hostage Negotiation Joke


As Hostage Taker: Demand to speak only with FBI agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully. Have one of the hostages hold your gun while you make a quick trip to the bathroom. Let one hostage go to the bathroom. When he doesn’t return, send the others to see what’s taking him so long. Agree to let the hostages go, after doing so, make you demands. Rig the building to explode if someone tries to go through the door, then remember that you forgot to lock your car and leave the room. Confuse the detonator for your explosive booby-traps with your garage door opener. Tell the negotiator that you’d rather choke on tear gas than let the hostages go. Allow one of the hostages to win possession of your gun because of a paper-rock scissors tournament. Forget your gun at home. Run away bawling like a baby when one of your hostages calls you a “meanie”. Ask the negotiator to tell your fiancee that this is all a joke and would she marry you. As Negotiator: Ask the hostage taker if he/she would like to go to dinner after the stand-off. When hearing the demands suddenly yell into the phone, “It all you you you! What about my needs?!” When you call the hostage taker, tell him you’d like a large thick crust pepperoni and snicker loudly. Show up stoned and do anything at all. When the hostage taker lists his demands yell into the phone “La la la la! I can’t hear you!” Mention how much income tax the hostage taker will have to pay if he/she gets the F-15 he/she wants. Tell the hostage take that you think Rosanne Barr should play him in the TV movie of the stand-off. Tell the hostage taker you think it’d be really cool if a hostage came flying out of a 52nd story window. Tell the hostage taker that he must convert to hindu if he wants you to deal with him. When the hostage taker agrees to let the hostages go tell him, “You’re never gonna be on COPS with a wimp attitude like that.”

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Health Benefits of Laughter

You may have heard that laughter is the best medicine. However, have you ever thought about it or not? Well, laughing and smiling are infectious. Looking at someone and exchanging a smile can make you reciprocate naturally, despite having a rough day. While only a few people out there know the fact that laughter is good for your health. It doesn't only make you feel good but can be a good cure for the blues.

Top 10 health benefits of laughter

To bring more laughter into your life, let's have a look at the key health benefits of laughter below.

1. Tone muscles and burn calories

Healthy laughter can help in burning calories. Even more, laughter also acts as a cheat sheet when it comes to getting a toned stomach. Most importantly, laughing for 10 to 15 minutes can let you burn up to 40 calories. It means watching a 90-minute comic movie can help you to burn up to 240 calories with ease.

2. Reduce anxiety and depression

Laughter can let you relax your entire body. Even more, it can bring tons of benefits to your mental health as well. A good laughter time will not only let you have some joy, but it can also let you relive the feelings of stress, fear, and depression effectively. Laughing can also improve your mood and bring optimistic, positive feelings with ease.

3. Let you sleep sound

Is the last show you watched before sleep is from a comic genre? Then, you have higher chances of getting a peaceful sleep. It is because laughter's good bout before sleeping can reduce anxiety. It can also relax your muscles and help you to have a better sleep quality with ease. It is important after spending a long and hectic day.

4. Improve blood circulation and flow

University of Maryland researchers have found that laughter can improve your blood vessels' health. It can boost their function and cause your blood vessels to expand and dilate. This situation will play a vital role in improving your blood flow and circulation effectively. So, overall, laughter is important to maintain the best level of endothelium.

5. Boost immune system

Laughter can increase antibody-producing cells in your body. It can also enhance T-cells' effectiveness. Consequently, this will reduce the risks of getting cough and the common cold. As it can help improve the immune system, the strong immune system will ultimately keep the infections and allergies at bay. Even more, laughter can reduce negative thoughts that can impact your immune system. Due to this, a happier person is capable of fighting diseases more than others. It is because he is always in the right mind frame, and his immune system will be in a stress-free zone. Consequently, it will improve your overall health.

6. Enhanced respiration

Have you felt a sense of relief and relaxation after laughter? It is because laughing involves deep exhalation. It will, in return, lower your blood pressure and lead you to a calmer state. Like deep breathing, laughing can also offer you a cleansing effect that is beneficial for respiratory ailments.

7. Ease physical pain

Have you ever thought about how laughter can aid in easing your pain? Well, when you laugh, your muscles move. This muscle movement will expand your blood vessels and send more blood to parts of your body. Even more, the breathing rate also increases and oxygen level in your blood, therefore. So, healthy laughter is always the best way to ease pain naturally and effortlessly.

8. Improve memory recall

Scientists at the Loma Linda University have found that laughter can improve learning and memory. It can also reduce cortisol levels as well in your body. Cortisol is a stress hormone that can impact your mind and body negatively. However, laughter can counteract these effects with ease.

9. Protect your heart health

A good laugh can do wonders to improve blood circulation and flow in your body. Even more, it impacts oxygenation as well positively. Also, laughing can boost your heart rate and oxygen consumption immediately and effortlessly. Consequently, this can help in reducing cardiovascular diseases, improving heart health and respiration system.

10. Work as a stress buster.

With every laugh, your face features send a signal to the brain. This signal will help in relieving the endorphins. It will act as a pain killer, reduce stress, and make you feel happy.

Overall, laughter therapy is highly effective in enjoying various health benefits in life. Make sure to have it daily.