Stupid Funny Quotes Joke

Stupid Funny Quotes Joke


“Things are more like they are now than they have ever been.” –President Gerald Ford “My fellow astronauts…”–Vice-President Dan Quayle, beginning a speech at an Apollo 11 anniversary celebration. “Capital punishment is our society’s recognition of the sanctity of human life.”–Orrin Hatch, Senator from Utah, explaining his support of the death penalty. “China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.”–Charles de Gaulle, ex-French President “I stand by all the misstatements.”–Dan Quayle, defending himself against criticism for making verbal gaffes “Gerald Ford was a Communist”–Ronald Reagan in a speech. He later indicated he meant to say ‘Congressman’. “Outside of the killings, Washington D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.”–Mayor Marion Barry, Washington D.C. “We found the term ‘killing’ too broad.”–State Department spokesperson on why the word ‘killing’ was replaced with ‘unlawful or arbitrary deprivation of life’ in its human rights reports for 1984-5 “This is a great day for France!”–President Richard Nixon while attending Charles De Gaulle’s funeral “This is the worst disaster in California since I was elected.”–California Governor Pat Brown, discussing a local flood “It’s not listed in the Bible, but my spiritual gift, my specific calling from God, is to be a television talkshow host.”–James Baker, televangelist. “The chairs in the cabin are for the ladies. Gentlemen are not to make use of them till the ladies are seated.”–Instructions posted in a river cruise ship, Suir River, Ireland. “The exports include thumbscrews and cattle prods, just routine items for the police.”–U.S. Commerce Department spokesman on a regulation allowing the export of various products abroad. “What he does on his own time is up to him.”–Harlon Copeland, Sheriff of Bexar County, Texas, when one of his deputies was caught exposing himself to a child. “Facts are stupid things.”–Ronald Reagan, misquoting John Adams in a speech to the Republican convention.

Tag: Political Jokes







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Health Benefits of Laughter

You may have heard that laughter is the best medicine. However, have you ever thought about it or not? Well, laughing and smiling are infectious. Looking at someone and exchanging a smile can make you reciprocate naturally, despite having a rough day. While only a few people out there know the fact that laughter is good for your health. It doesn't only make you feel good but can be a good cure for the blues.

Top 10 health benefits of laughter

To bring more laughter into your life, let's have a look at the key health benefits of laughter below.

1. Tone muscles and burn calories

Healthy laughter can help in burning calories. Even more, laughter also acts as a cheat sheet when it comes to getting a toned stomach. Most importantly, laughing for 10 to 15 minutes can let you burn up to 40 calories. It means watching a 90-minute comic movie can help you to burn up to 240 calories with ease.

2. Reduce anxiety and depression

Laughter can let you relax your entire body. Even more, it can bring tons of benefits to your mental health as well. A good laughter time will not only let you have some joy, but it can also let you relive the feelings of stress, fear, and depression effectively. Laughing can also improve your mood and bring optimistic, positive feelings with ease.

3. Let you sleep sound

Is the last show you watched before sleep is from a comic genre? Then, you have higher chances of getting a peaceful sleep. It is because laughter's good bout before sleeping can reduce anxiety. It can also relax your muscles and help you to have a better sleep quality with ease. It is important after spending a long and hectic day.

4. Improve blood circulation and flow

University of Maryland researchers have found that laughter can improve your blood vessels' health. It can boost their function and cause your blood vessels to expand and dilate. This situation will play a vital role in improving your blood flow and circulation effectively. So, overall, laughter is important to maintain the best level of endothelium.

5. Boost immune system

Laughter can increase antibody-producing cells in your body. It can also enhance T-cells' effectiveness. Consequently, this will reduce the risks of getting cough and the common cold. As it can help improve the immune system, the strong immune system will ultimately keep the infections and allergies at bay. Even more, laughter can reduce negative thoughts that can impact your immune system. Due to this, a happier person is capable of fighting diseases more than others. It is because he is always in the right mind frame, and his immune system will be in a stress-free zone. Consequently, it will improve your overall health.

6. Enhanced respiration

Have you felt a sense of relief and relaxation after laughter? It is because laughing involves deep exhalation. It will, in return, lower your blood pressure and lead you to a calmer state. Like deep breathing, laughing can also offer you a cleansing effect that is beneficial for respiratory ailments.

7. Ease physical pain

Have you ever thought about how laughter can aid in easing your pain? Well, when you laugh, your muscles move. This muscle movement will expand your blood vessels and send more blood to parts of your body. Even more, the breathing rate also increases and oxygen level in your blood, therefore. So, healthy laughter is always the best way to ease pain naturally and effortlessly.

8. Improve memory recall

Scientists at the Loma Linda University have found that laughter can improve learning and memory. It can also reduce cortisol levels as well in your body. Cortisol is a stress hormone that can impact your mind and body negatively. However, laughter can counteract these effects with ease.

9. Protect your heart health

A good laugh can do wonders to improve blood circulation and flow in your body. Even more, it impacts oxygenation as well positively. Also, laughing can boost your heart rate and oxygen consumption immediately and effortlessly. Consequently, this can help in reducing cardiovascular diseases, improving heart health and respiration system.

10. Work as a stress buster.

With every laugh, your face features send a signal to the brain. This signal will help in relieving the endorphins. It will act as a pain killer, reduce stress, and make you feel happy.

Overall, laughter therapy is highly effective in enjoying various health benefits in life. Make sure to have it daily.