In the front yard of a funeral home, “Drive carefully, we’ll wait.”On an electrician’s truck, “Let us remove your shorts.”Outside a radiator repair shop, “Best place in town to take a leak.”In a non-smoking area, “If we see you smoking, we will a*sume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”On a maternity room door, “Push, Push, Push.”On a front door, “Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.”At an optometrist’s office, “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”On a taxidermist’s window, “We really know our stuff.”On a butcher’s window, “Let me meat your needs.”On a butcher’s window, “You can beat our prices, but you can’t beat our meat.”On a fence, “Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.”At a car dealership, “The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”Outside a muffler shop, “No appointment necessary. We’ll hear you coming.”In a dry cleaner’s emporium, “Drop your pants here.”On a desk in a reception room, “We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.”In a veterinarian’s waiting room, “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”At the electric company, “We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don’t, you will be.”In a Beauty Shop, “Dye now!”In a Beauty Shop, “We curl up and Dye for you.”On the side of a garbage truck, “We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.” (Burglars please copy.)In a restaurant window, “Don’t stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.”Inside a bowling alley, “Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.”In a cafeteria, “S***s are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.
Tag: Miscellaneous Jokes