Nite Before Xmas – Net Style! Joke

Nite Before Xmas – Net Style! Joke

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net,There were hacker’s a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet.The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care,In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens,While visions of Java danced in their dreams.My wife on the sofa and me with a snack,We just settled down at my rig (it’s a Mac).When out in the Web there arose such a clatter,I jumped to the site to see what was the matter.To a new page my Mac flew like a flash,Then made a slight gurgle. It started to crash!!I gasped at the thought and started to grouse,Then turned my head sideways and clicked on my mouse.When what to my wondering eyes should appear,My Mac jumped to a page that wasn’t quite clear.When the image resolved, so bright and so quick,I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick!More rapid than mainframes, more graphics they came,Then Nick glanced toward my screen, my Mac called them by name;”Now Compaq! Now Acer!”, my speaker did reel;”On Apple! On Gateway!” Santa started to squeal!”Jump onto the circuits! And into the chip!Now speed it up! Speed it up! Make this thing hip!”The screen gave a flicker, he was into my “Ram”,Then into my room rose a full hologram!He was dressed in all red, from his head to his s***s,Which were black (the white socks he really should lose).He pulled out some discs he had stored in his backpack.Santa looked like a dude who was rarin’ to hack!His eyes, how they twinkled! His gla*ses, how techno!This ain’t the same Santa that I used to know!With a wink of his eye and a nod of his head,Santa soon let me know I had nothing to dread.He spoke not a word, gave my Mac a quick poke,And accessed my C drive with only a stroke.He defragged my hard drive, and added a “Dimm”,Then threw in some cool games, just on a whim!He worked without noise, his fingers they flew!He distorted some pictures with Kai’s Power Goo!He updated Office, Excel and Quicken,Then added a screensaver with a red clucking chicken!My eyes widened a bit, my mouth stood agape,As he added the latest version of Netscape.The drive gave a whirl, as if it were pleased,St. Nick coyly smiled, the computer appeased.Then placing his finger on the bridge of his nose,Santa turned into nothing but ones and zeros!He flew back into my screen and through my uplink,Back into the net with barely a blink.But I heard his sweet voice as he flew from my sight,”Happy surfing to all, and to all a good byte!”Merry Xmas to you all !!!

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Health Benefits of Laughter

You may have heard that laughter is the best medicine. However, have you ever thought about it or not? Well, laughing and smiling are infectious. Looking at someone and exchanging a smile can make you reciprocate naturally, despite having a rough day. While only a few people out there know the fact that laughter is good for your health. It doesn't only make you feel good but can be a good cure for the blues.

Top 10 health benefits of laughter

To bring more laughter into your life, let's have a look at the key health benefits of laughter below.

1. Tone muscles and burn calories

Healthy laughter can help in burning calories. Even more, laughter also acts as a cheat sheet when it comes to getting a toned stomach. Most importantly, laughing for 10 to 15 minutes can let you burn up to 40 calories. It means watching a 90-minute comic movie can help you to burn up to 240 calories with ease.

2. Reduce anxiety and depression

Laughter can let you relax your entire body. Even more, it can bring tons of benefits to your mental health as well. A good laughter time will not only let you have some joy, but it can also let you relive the feelings of stress, fear, and depression effectively. Laughing can also improve your mood and bring optimistic, positive feelings with ease.

3. Let you sleep sound

Is the last show you watched before sleep is from a comic genre? Then, you have higher chances of getting a peaceful sleep. It is because laughter's good bout before sleeping can reduce anxiety. It can also relax your muscles and help you to have a better sleep quality with ease. It is important after spending a long and hectic day.

4. Improve blood circulation and flow

University of Maryland researchers have found that laughter can improve your blood vessels' health. It can boost their function and cause your blood vessels to expand and dilate. This situation will play a vital role in improving your blood flow and circulation effectively. So, overall, laughter is important to maintain the best level of endothelium.

5. Boost immune system

Laughter can increase antibody-producing cells in your body. It can also enhance T-cells' effectiveness. Consequently, this will reduce the risks of getting cough and the common cold. As it can help improve the immune system, the strong immune system will ultimately keep the infections and allergies at bay. Even more, laughter can reduce negative thoughts that can impact your immune system. Due to this, a happier person is capable of fighting diseases more than others. It is because he is always in the right mind frame, and his immune system will be in a stress-free zone. Consequently, it will improve your overall health.

6. Enhanced respiration

Have you felt a sense of relief and relaxation after laughter? It is because laughing involves deep exhalation. It will, in return, lower your blood pressure and lead you to a calmer state. Like deep breathing, laughing can also offer you a cleansing effect that is beneficial for respiratory ailments.

7. Ease physical pain

Have you ever thought about how laughter can aid in easing your pain? Well, when you laugh, your muscles move. This muscle movement will expand your blood vessels and send more blood to parts of your body. Even more, the breathing rate also increases and oxygen level in your blood, therefore. So, healthy laughter is always the best way to ease pain naturally and effortlessly.

8. Improve memory recall

Scientists at the Loma Linda University have found that laughter can improve learning and memory. It can also reduce cortisol levels as well in your body. Cortisol is a stress hormone that can impact your mind and body negatively. However, laughter can counteract these effects with ease.

9. Protect your heart health

A good laugh can do wonders to improve blood circulation and flow in your body. Even more, it impacts oxygenation as well positively. Also, laughing can boost your heart rate and oxygen consumption immediately and effortlessly. Consequently, this can help in reducing cardiovascular diseases, improving heart health and respiration system.

10. Work as a stress buster.

With every laugh, your face features send a signal to the brain. This signal will help in relieving the endorphins. It will act as a pain killer, reduce stress, and make you feel happy.

Overall, laughter therapy is highly effective in enjoying various health benefits in life. Make sure to have it daily.