My missus was waiting for me to come home.
“I went to the doctor today about those stomach pains I’ve been having. You’ll never guess what he told me.” she said.
“Go on.” I replied.
“Well, lets just say that I’ll be eating for two for next seven months.”
“That’s great news love.” I said. Fat cow’s been eating for four up to now, so I’m glad the Doctor’s told her to cut down as well.