Marriage Quotes 2 Joke

Marriage Quotes 2 Joke

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. – Prof. Irwin CoreyLove matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn themselves to a life of vinegar. – Countess of BlessingtonI’ve sometimes thought of marrying, and then I’ve thought again. – Noel Coward, 1956Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven’t been able to find anybody who’ll take what I have to give. – Ca*s DaleyI’d marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he’d be dead within a year. – Bette DavisLove is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses. – Lord DewarI’ve been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about ‘short’ and ‘cheap’? – Phyllis DillerNever go to bed angry. Stay up and fight. – Phyllis DillerIt destroys one’s nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being. – Benjamin DisraeliHonolulu, it’s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife’s mother. – Ken DoddAny intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences. – Isadora DuncanMany a man that could rule a hundherd millyon sthrangers with an ir’n hand is careful to take off his s***s in the front hallway whin he comes home late at night. – Finley Peter Dunne, “Mr. Dooley On Making A Will”, 1919There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards – only physics and war hold him in check. And the wife who wants him home by five, of course. – Encyclopaedia ApocryphiaNe’er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in. – Benjamin FranklinA Code of Honor: Never approach a friend’s girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she’s really attractive. – Bruce FriedmanChoose a wife by your ear than your eye. – Thomas Fuller, 1732Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended. – Zsa Zsa GaborA man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. – Zsa Zsa GaborI’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. – Zsa Zsa GaborLove is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. – GoetheThank heaven. A bachelor’s life is no life for a single man. – Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting marriedWhen Baby’s cries grew hard to bear I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if I’d known that he’d be frozen stiff. My wife said, “George, I’m so unhappy! Our darling’s now completely frappe!” – GrahamIf I were a girl, I’d despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them. – Robert Graves

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