Marriage Quotes 2 Joke

Marriage Quotes 2 Joke


Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. – Prof. Irwin CoreyLove matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn themselves to a life of vinegar. – Countess of BlessingtonI’ve sometimes thought of marrying, and then I’ve thought again. – Noel Coward, 1956Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven’t been able to find anybody who’ll take what I have to give. – Ca*s DaleyI’d marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he’d be dead within a year. – Bette DavisLove is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses. – Lord DewarI’ve been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about ‘short’ and ‘cheap’? – Phyllis DillerNever go to bed angry. Stay up and fight. – Phyllis DillerIt destroys one’s nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being. – Benjamin DisraeliHonolulu, it’s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife’s mother. – Ken DoddAny intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences. – Isadora DuncanMany a man that could rule a hundherd millyon sthrangers with an ir’n hand is careful to take off his s***s in the front hallway whin he comes home late at night. – Finley Peter Dunne, “Mr. Dooley On Making A Will”, 1919There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards – only physics and war hold him in check. And the wife who wants him home by five, of course. – Encyclopaedia ApocryphiaNe’er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in. – Benjamin FranklinA Code of Honor: Never approach a friend’s girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she’s really attractive. – Bruce FriedmanChoose a wife by your ear than your eye. – Thomas Fuller, 1732Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended. – Zsa Zsa GaborA man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. – Zsa Zsa GaborI’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. – Zsa Zsa GaborLove is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. – GoetheThank heaven. A bachelor’s life is no life for a single man. – Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting marriedWhen Baby’s cries grew hard to bear I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if I’d known that he’d be frozen stiff. My wife said, “George, I’m so unhappy! Our darling’s now completely frappe!” – GrahamIf I were a girl, I’d despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them. – Robert Graves

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Health Benefits of Laughter

You may have heard that laughter is the best medicine. However, have you ever thought about it or not? Well, laughing and smiling are infectious. Looking at someone and exchanging a smile can make you reciprocate naturally, despite having a rough day. While only a few people out there know the fact that laughter is good for your health. It doesn't only make you feel good but can be a good cure for the blues.

Top 10 health benefits of laughter

To bring more laughter into your life, let's have a look at the key health benefits of laughter below.

1. Tone muscles and burn calories

Healthy laughter can help in burning calories. Even more, laughter also acts as a cheat sheet when it comes to getting a toned stomach. Most importantly, laughing for 10 to 15 minutes can let you burn up to 40 calories. It means watching a 90-minute comic movie can help you to burn up to 240 calories with ease.

2. Reduce anxiety and depression

Laughter can let you relax your entire body. Even more, it can bring tons of benefits to your mental health as well. A good laughter time will not only let you have some joy, but it can also let you relive the feelings of stress, fear, and depression effectively. Laughing can also improve your mood and bring optimistic, positive feelings with ease.

3. Let you sleep sound

Is the last show you watched before sleep is from a comic genre? Then, you have higher chances of getting a peaceful sleep. It is because laughter's good bout before sleeping can reduce anxiety. It can also relax your muscles and help you to have a better sleep quality with ease. It is important after spending a long and hectic day.

4. Improve blood circulation and flow

University of Maryland researchers have found that laughter can improve your blood vessels' health. It can boost their function and cause your blood vessels to expand and dilate. This situation will play a vital role in improving your blood flow and circulation effectively. So, overall, laughter is important to maintain the best level of endothelium.

5. Boost immune system

Laughter can increase antibody-producing cells in your body. It can also enhance T-cells' effectiveness. Consequently, this will reduce the risks of getting cough and the common cold. As it can help improve the immune system, the strong immune system will ultimately keep the infections and allergies at bay. Even more, laughter can reduce negative thoughts that can impact your immune system. Due to this, a happier person is capable of fighting diseases more than others. It is because he is always in the right mind frame, and his immune system will be in a stress-free zone. Consequently, it will improve your overall health.

6. Enhanced respiration

Have you felt a sense of relief and relaxation after laughter? It is because laughing involves deep exhalation. It will, in return, lower your blood pressure and lead you to a calmer state. Like deep breathing, laughing can also offer you a cleansing effect that is beneficial for respiratory ailments.

7. Ease physical pain

Have you ever thought about how laughter can aid in easing your pain? Well, when you laugh, your muscles move. This muscle movement will expand your blood vessels and send more blood to parts of your body. Even more, the breathing rate also increases and oxygen level in your blood, therefore. So, healthy laughter is always the best way to ease pain naturally and effortlessly.

8. Improve memory recall

Scientists at the Loma Linda University have found that laughter can improve learning and memory. It can also reduce cortisol levels as well in your body. Cortisol is a stress hormone that can impact your mind and body negatively. However, laughter can counteract these effects with ease.

9. Protect your heart health

A good laugh can do wonders to improve blood circulation and flow in your body. Even more, it impacts oxygenation as well positively. Also, laughing can boost your heart rate and oxygen consumption immediately and effortlessly. Consequently, this can help in reducing cardiovascular diseases, improving heart health and respiration system.

10. Work as a stress buster.

With every laugh, your face features send a signal to the brain. This signal will help in relieving the endorphins. It will act as a pain killer, reduce stress, and make you feel happy.

Overall, laughter therapy is highly effective in enjoying various health benefits in life. Make sure to have it daily.