My love for you… it came and went. So your feet are now in wet cement.I’m here To fulfill your fondest wishesNow that your husband sleeps with the fishes.Lie down with me — it’s my final offa,Or you’ll be lying wit’ Jimmy Hoffa.I picked up this card from a slim selectionBut that’s all they offer here in witness protection.Be my Valentine, and we can do it execution-style.Cinderella got her fella, with a slipper made of glass;So please be mine, Valentine, or I’ll have to whack your ass.Violets are blue, roses are red,I blew up your car — So why ain’t you dead?The day we met, my little pet, I knew with just one lookYou’d bear a son, and now that’s done, So shut your mouth and cook!Youse da greatest. Youse da best.But you’re as untouchable as Elliot Ness.Lust is fleeting, true love lingers.Be mine always and you’ll keep your fingers.Hope da chocolates is good, but y’know, dis ain’t really what a guy’s heart looks like.When a goon makes you die,Cuz you told him goodbye — that’s amore!
Tag: Miscellaneous Jokes
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