I babysat for my next door neighbour last night. After an hour the baby kept crying so I phoned one of my mates for some advice.
I said, “It won’t stop crying, what shall I do?”
He said, “Just give it a dummy.”
I said, “The dummy is filthy dirty.”
He said, “In that case, put it in boiling water for 10 seconds.”
After a long pause I said, “Great advice mate, now he’s screaming even louder and is covered in blisters.”