How Do You Tell The Difference Between A British P… – Professions Jokes



How do you tell the difference between a British Police Officer, an Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?
Pose the following question: You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
UK POLICE OFFICER’S ANSWER
Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 999?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed days and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behaviour. If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed when he falls over running away, knocks his head and kills himself?
If I shoot him, and lose the court case does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and I will lose my family home?
AUSTRALIAN OFFICER’S ANSWER
BANG!
AMERICAN OFFICER’S ANSWER
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click… (Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.
Daughter: “Nice grouping, Dad! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?”




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