Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other pa*sengers. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: “Shut up, all of you just shut UP!” Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly. Sell Girl Scout cookies. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator. Shave. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there?” Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarra*sed when they open by themselves. Lean over to another pa*senger and whisper: “Noogie patrol coming!” Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. One word: Flatulence! On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go “plink” at the bottom. Do Tai Chi exercises. Stare, grinning, at another pa*senger for a while, and then announce: “I’ve got new socks on!” When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: “Oh, not now, motion sickness!” Give religious tracts to each pa*senger. Meow occa*sionally. Bet the other pa*sengers you can fit a quarter in your nose. Show other pa*sengers a wound and ask if it looks infected. Sing “Mary had a little lamb” while continually pushing buttons. Holler “Chutes away!” whenever the elevator descends. Walk on with a cooler that says “human head” on the side. Stare at another pa*senger for a while, then announce “You’re one of THEM!” and move to the far corner of the elevator. Burp, and then say “mmmm…tasty!” Leave a box between the doors. Ask each pa*senger getting on if you can push the button for them. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other pa*sengers “through” it. Start a sing-along. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask “is that your beeper?” Play the harmonica. Shadow box. Say “Ding!” at each floor. Lean against the button panel. Say “I wonder what all these do” and push the red buttons. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other pa*sengers that this is your “personal space.” Bring a chair along. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another pa*senger: “Wanna see wha in muh mouf?” Blow spit bubbles. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings. Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find a more suitable host body.” Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. Wear “X-Ray Specs” and leer suggestively at other pa*sengers. Stare at your thumb and say “I think it’s getting larger.” If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler “Bad touch!”
Tag: Miscellaneous Jokes
Do you have a joke? share it with us! Click on the button bellow to send us your joke.
Leave a Comment