Ethnic Goldmine! – Part II Joke

Ethnic Goldmine! – Part II Joke

English Jokes 2023

Two Polish guys were taking their first trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas, which they’d never seen before. Each bought one.The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.””Why not?” “I took one bite and went blind for half a minute!”——————— There were three guys walking together, a Newfie, a Quebecer , and a Vancouver guy. They came across a lantern and a genie popped out.”I will give you each one wish; that’s three wishes in total!” The Newfie said, “I am a fisherman, my dad’s a fisherman, and his dad was a fisherman, and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish”. Poof! The oceans were full of fish.The Quebecer was amazed! He said, “I want a wall around Quebec, so nothing will get in!” Poof! There was a wall around Quebec.The Vancouver guy said, “Tell me more about this wall.” The genie said, “Well it’s about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out.”So, the Vancouver guy said, “Fill it up with water!”——————— Did You hear about the Redneck who… Spent four days in Sears looking for a miscarriage. Took his expectant wife for the grocery store because they had free delivery. Took a roll of toilet paper to a crap game. Put iodine on his pay check because he got a cut in pay. Was so lazy, he married a pregnant woman. Was feeling so low, he got his face slapped. Lost his girlfriend because he couldn’t remember where he laid her. Thought asphalt was rectal trouble. Thought his typewriter was pregnant because it missed a period. Bought a union suit because his wife was having labor pains. Thought Peter Pan was something to put under the bed. Thought a sanitary belt was a drink from a clean shot gla*s. Smelled good only on the right side, he didn’t know where to buy Left Guard. Studied for five days to take a urine test. Thought Moby Dick was a venereal disease. Went to the outhouse, put one leg in each hole, then crapped his pants.——————— Proof Positive that Jesus was Jewish:1. His Bar Mitzvah was catered.2. He lived at home until he was30.3. He swore his mother was a virgin.4. And his Mother thought he was God.——————— Q: Why do Italians not like Jehovah Witness’? A: They don’t like ANY Witnesses!

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Health Benefits of Laughter

You may have heard that laughter is the best medicine. However, have you ever thought about it or not? Well, laughing and smiling are infectious. Looking at someone and exchanging a smile can make you reciprocate naturally, despite having a rough day. While only a few people out there know the fact that laughter is good for your health. It doesn't only make you feel good but can be a good cure for the blues.

Top 10 health benefits of laughter

To bring more laughter into your life, let's have a look at the key health benefits of laughter below.

1. Tone muscles and burn calories

Healthy laughter can help in burning calories. Even more, laughter also acts as a cheat sheet when it comes to getting a toned stomach. Most importantly, laughing for 10 to 15 minutes can let you burn up to 40 calories. It means watching a 90-minute comic movie can help you to burn up to 240 calories with ease.

2. Reduce anxiety and depression

Laughter can let you relax your entire body. Even more, it can bring tons of benefits to your mental health as well. A good laughter time will not only let you have some joy, but it can also let you relive the feelings of stress, fear, and depression effectively. Laughing can also improve your mood and bring optimistic, positive feelings with ease.

3. Let you sleep sound

Is the last show you watched before sleep is from a comic genre? Then, you have higher chances of getting a peaceful sleep. It is because laughter's good bout before sleeping can reduce anxiety. It can also relax your muscles and help you to have a better sleep quality with ease. It is important after spending a long and hectic day.

4. Improve blood circulation and flow

University of Maryland researchers have found that laughter can improve your blood vessels' health. It can boost their function and cause your blood vessels to expand and dilate. This situation will play a vital role in improving your blood flow and circulation effectively. So, overall, laughter is important to maintain the best level of endothelium.

5. Boost immune system

Laughter can increase antibody-producing cells in your body. It can also enhance T-cells' effectiveness. Consequently, this will reduce the risks of getting cough and the common cold. As it can help improve the immune system, the strong immune system will ultimately keep the infections and allergies at bay. Even more, laughter can reduce negative thoughts that can impact your immune system. Due to this, a happier person is capable of fighting diseases more than others. It is because he is always in the right mind frame, and his immune system will be in a stress-free zone. Consequently, it will improve your overall health.

6. Enhanced respiration

Have you felt a sense of relief and relaxation after laughter? It is because laughing involves deep exhalation. It will, in return, lower your blood pressure and lead you to a calmer state. Like deep breathing, laughing can also offer you a cleansing effect that is beneficial for respiratory ailments.

7. Ease physical pain

Have you ever thought about how laughter can aid in easing your pain? Well, when you laugh, your muscles move. This muscle movement will expand your blood vessels and send more blood to parts of your body. Even more, the breathing rate also increases and oxygen level in your blood, therefore. So, healthy laughter is always the best way to ease pain naturally and effortlessly.

8. Improve memory recall

Scientists at the Loma Linda University have found that laughter can improve learning and memory. It can also reduce cortisol levels as well in your body. Cortisol is a stress hormone that can impact your mind and body negatively. However, laughter can counteract these effects with ease.

9. Protect your heart health

A good laugh can do wonders to improve blood circulation and flow in your body. Even more, it impacts oxygenation as well positively. Also, laughing can boost your heart rate and oxygen consumption immediately and effortlessly. Consequently, this can help in reducing cardiovascular diseases, improving heart health and respiration system.

10. Work as a stress buster.

With every laugh, your face features send a signal to the brain. This signal will help in relieving the endorphins. It will act as a pain killer, reduce stress, and make you feel happy.

Overall, laughter therapy is highly effective in enjoying various health benefits in life. Make sure to have it daily.

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