Bill of No Rights by Lewis W. Napper We, the sensible of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone getalong, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep ournation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-freeliberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try onemore time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for theterminally whiny, guilt-ridden delusional, and other liberal, commie, pinkobedwetters.We hold these truths to be self-evident, that a whole lot of people wereconfused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of NoRights.You do not have the right to a new car, big-screen color TV or any otherform of wealth.More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeinganything.You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based onfreedom, and that means freedom for everyone — not just you! You may leavethe room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the worldis full of idiots, and probably always will be.You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriverin your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturerto make you and all of your relatives independently wealthy.You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the mostcharitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but weare quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation ofprofessional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation ofanother generation of professional couch potatoes.You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but fromthe looks of public housing, we’re just not interested in public health care.You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap,rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don’t be surprised if the rest ofus get together and kill you.You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat,or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don’t be surprisedif the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you stillwon’t have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.You do not have the right to demand that our children risk their lives inforeign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governmentsand won’t lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you’d like.However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spendso much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a militaryuniform and a funny hat.You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have one,and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to takeadvantage of the opportunities in education and vocational training laidbefore you to make yourself useful.You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that youhave the right to pursue happiness — which, by the way, is a lot easierif you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created bythose around you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.Copyright #169; Lewis W. Napper. All Rights Reserved.http://oscar.teclink.net/~napper [email protected]
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