An army sergeant went to sit down and eat with his men and saw one of his men wasn't eating his soup, he asked if he could have it.
The soldier replied "Of course sir"
After the sergeant had nearly fi...
My sister warned me the other day that the police are cracking down on illegal downloads and that I should delete all my songs just in case.
Yeah, if the cops seize my P.C, illegally downloaded music'...
When she retired, I thought I'd treat my wife to her dream holiday, travelling along Route 66.
By the end of the second week she'd stopped speaking to me, but I didn't mind, I'd become quite friendly ...
My Dad came up to me the other day and said "son what's the point of this Facebook thing then?"
"Well," I replied, "I use it to find people I've fancied for years, friend them and then crack one off t...
"If we don't receive 30million in donations over the phone by 2am then kids all over the world will suffer."
No, not Children in Need, I've rounded up a few friends over the internet and we've begun t...
My granny told me what it used to be like at the seaside. "There was a laughing sailor machine. You put your money in and you didn't win anything or get a refund, it just laughed at you. There's nothi...
I went into the pet shop yesterday and said, "My two cats keep bringing fleas into the house, do you have anything to stop it?"
"Sure," replied the cashier, "Rub this powder all over their fur and it ...
I've been having problems with my memory lately so I went and saw my Doctor.
My doctor asked me, "So, how long have you been suffering from dementia?"
I guess he was waiting for me to say, "I don't kn...
Not really a joke but i thought it was quite funny,
I was walking home the other day and in one of the gardens was a man sitting down in a sunbed reading the paper with a cup of tea.
Next to him his w...
I'm fed up with all the ethnic minorities near my house in east London so I decided to get on the central line and head to White City. When I got off what I saw made me feel disappointed, disgusted an...
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