The girlfriend asked me " how many women have you slept with"?
I said " I won't give you the number but I can count them all on one hand."
"Brilliant" she said.
And under my breath I counted 5,10,15,2...
Doctor: Whats wrong with your brother?
Boy: He thinks hes a chicken.
Doctor: Really? How long has he thought this?
Boy: Three years.
Doctor: Three years?!?
Boy: We would have brought him in sooner, bu...
Never follow a friends advice.
"Go to Subway for dinner, It's expensive but it's lovely!"
So I did, and my friend was half right, It was expensive. But after 3 hours of riding around on trains I was s...
My wife has just sent 6000 on a new motorcycle for me as a suprise gift.I was speechless so I rushed off to the shops straight away and bought her a lovely new steam iron.You can't do enough for a goo...
"I think it's time to stop playing catch with our daughter and come in for dinner," said my wife.
"Why? I thought you said I should spend more time with her," I asked.
"I did. But you keep dropping he...
I went for a job interview earlier today, and the interviewer asked me to name 5 weaknesses. I told him:
I find it difficult to lead a large team.
Hard to work under pressure.
I rush to finish my work...
I went into hospital today to have bits of my hand reattached after cutting them off in an accident.
When I arrived in theatre I asked the surgeon how confident he was that he could restore it to its ...
I took my first serious girlfriend on a caravan camping trip to Devon last week, we found this really nice spot in a field near the beach.
After a long journey, we both went and sat on the bed.
"I lo...
An army sergeant went to sit down and eat with his men and saw one of his men wasn't eating his soup, he asked if he could have it.
The soldier replied "Of course sir"
After the sergeant had nearly fi...
My sister warned me the other day that the police are cracking down on illegal downloads and that I should delete all my songs just in case.
Yeah, if the cops seize my P.C, illegally downloaded music'...
Ads Blocker Detected!!!
We have detected that you are using extensions to block ads. Please support us by disabling these ads blocker.
