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Last Week In The News – Wordplay Jokes

Last week in the News. ABC News, at least 18 killed by Flash floods in the US. Today Sky News, 19 Killed by Flash floods in France. "Who's this bloke ...

I Asked My Girlfriend What She Wanted For Christmas – Misunderstanding Jokes

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted for Christmas. "Something that goes round my finger, thats sparkly and I can show off too my family and friends"...

I Don’T Know Why Everyone Tarnishes Oriental Folk With The Same Brush – Animals-Insects Jokes

I don't know why everyone tarnishes Oriental folk with the same brush. My neighbours are Chinese and when they came for dinner they were mortified tha...

I Like An Escalator Because An Escalator Can Never Break – Sarcasm Jokes

I like an escalator because an escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator temporarily out-of-order" sig...

I Walked Out Of Tesco Today And I Saw An Old Lady … – Stupid Jokes

I walked out of Tesco today and I saw an old lady struggling to get on her mobility scooter with 4 bags of shopping. I said, "Do you want me to take i...

After We Reached A Decision On The Abortion, Every… – Children Jokes

After we reached a decision on the abortion, every night I've been given chills up and down my spine by the haunting screams of a crying baby. I lay t...

My Friend & I Were Walking Back From The Pub Last … – Misunderstanding Jokes

My friend & i were walking back from the pub last night, when we saw a fire in Miss Jones kitchen. "What shall we do?" i panicked "I'll call the fire ...

My Boss Asked Me, “Do You Believe In Life After De… – Work Jokes

My boss asked me, "do you believe in life after death and the supernatural?" "Yes, I think so," I replied. "I thought you would," he said. "Yesterday ...

Took My 3 Year Old Son Into Work With Me At The Ro… – Work Jokes

Took my 3 year old son into work with me at the royal mail sorting office, you should have seen him throwing parcels around, jumping up and down on th...

As I Was Beating Up My 12 Year Old Son When My Wif… – Charity Jokes

As I was beating up my 12 year old son when my wife walked in and screamed, " What you doing? Stop it!" I said, " I gave him 10 the other day and he t...