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English Jokes

A collection of funny english jokes collected from different sources online. A good section to read funny quotes and funny english jokes if you can’t understand tagalog.






Horny Nurses! Joke

3 nurses go into the morgue, and there's a dead man's body lying there, with an erection.The first nurse sees it, and says "I'm gagging for it", gets atop the man and h...

Cards You Won’t Find At Hallmark Joke

"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder:............. What was I thinking?""Congratulations on your wedding day!............. Too...




Stupid Insults 13/31 Joke

He demonstrates that beauty times brains is a constant. He donated his brain to science but they made an early withdrawal. He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every br...

If Airlines Sold Paint Joke

IF AIRLINES SOLD PAINT . . .Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things.Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there...

No More Tricks Joke

A newlywed bride and groom had been busy at "it" for three days straight.The groom arose early and was reading the paper, thinking it was time to do something else. Whe...

Things Learned From Children Joke

1. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape. 2. It is stron...

Tips To Improve Your Writing Joke

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.3. Employ the vernacular.4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. 5. Parenthetica...

A Fisherman’s Tale Joke

Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his he...

Dont Mess With Me

My girlfriend broke up with me so I took her wheelchair, Geuss who came crawling back?...

Skipping School Joke

A woman realizes her son has not yet gotten out of bed for school.She goes into his bedroom and tells him to get up or he will miss breakfast."No," the son replies. "I ...