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English Jokes

A collection of funny english jokes collected from different sources online. A good section to read funny quotes and funny english jokes if you can’t understand tagalog.




Let’s Swear Joke

Mother calls up stairs, "You boys better get down here and eat your breakfast or you'll be late for school!"As they are ambling down, the 5-year-old turns to the 4-year...

MICHAEL KENNEDY Joke

MICHAEL KENNEDY What's the difference between John Denver and Michael Kennedy? John Denver made it alive out of Aspen. Has Elton John re-written any of his songs ...




Go On A Hiking Trip Joke

Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip. They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky. Holmes said, "Watson, look up. Wh...

Deep Dark Secrets Joke

At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the ...

Ten Things A Cat Thinks About Joke

I could have sworn I heard the can opener. Is there something I'm not getting when humans make noise with their mouths? Why doesn't the government do something about do...

Must Help The Wife Joke

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the at...

Idiot Chicken Farmer Joke

An idiot decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all...

Locked Car Joke

Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!Blonde#2: Well, yo...