Author Archives: Bisaya_Ako

My Father Died In A Police Cell – Stupid Jokes


My Father died in a police cell. The police report said he tried to commit suicide and died of a brain haemorrhage.
They claimed he tried to hang himself with his braces and smashed his skull into the ceiling.



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A Tourist Is Looking For Buildings Of Intrest In A City – Stupid Jokes


A tourist is looking for buildings of intrest in a city. He decides to ask a local, who is standing at the side of the road.
Tourist: “Excuse me sir, you wouldn’t happen to know if there is anything worth visiting here?
Local: “Well, son. You see that building there?”
Tourist: “Yes” sounding curious…
Local: “And you know if you look over there you can see that block of apartments…”
Tourist: “Yes!” getting more enthusiastic…
Local: “And you see that wee buildin’ in between them?”
Tourist: “Yes! Yes! YES!” effectively screaming now…
Local: “Well that’s the Co-op.”



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Whilst Going Up In A Lift Today, I Asked The Atten… – Wordplay Jokes


Whilst going up in a lift today, I asked the attendant why it literally took seconds to get past the first few floors, yet one of the floors took well over five minutes, even though we were doing the same speed.
“It’s a bit of a long story that one”, he replied.



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Once Upon A Time, There Was A Famous Black Knight … – Joke Jokes


Once upon a time, there was a famous black knight on a black horse who desired the hand of a fair princess in marriage. So he rode to the castle where the princess lived to seek the permission of her father, the king, to marry her.
“Who goes there?” demanded the castle’s gatekeeper.
“It is the black knight on the black horse,” replied the knight. “I wish to see the king.”
“Not the black knight on the black horse?” replied the gatekeeper.
“Yes, the black knight on the black horse.”
“Very well, you may enter.” The knight entered the royal chamber.
“Who is it?” boomed the king.
“It is the black knight on the black horse, your highness. I have come to ask for the hand of your daughter, the Princess Romana.”
“Not the black knight on the black horse?” said the king.
“Yes, sire, the black knight on the black horse.”
“Well, said the king, “before you can marry my daughter, you must obtain a golden ring from the golden dragon.”
“I shall do that,” replied the knight, and he rode off to find the golden dragon.
The golden dragon was in his lair. “Who goes there?” it called out at the sound of approaching hooves.
“It is the black knight on the black horse.”
“Not the black knight on the black horse?” said the golden dragon.
“Yes, the black knight on the black horse. I have come to claim the golden ring, with which I may marry the king’s daughter, the Princess Romana”
The golden dragon gave the knight the golden ring and he rode back to the castle.
“Who goes there?” demanded the gatekeeper.
“It is the black knight on the black horse.”
“Not the black knight on the black horse?”
“Yes, the black knight on the black horse. I am here to see the king.”
“Very well, you may enter.” The black knight entered the royal chamber.
“Who is it?” boomed the king.
“It is the black knight on the black horse.”
“Not the black knight on the black horse?”
“Yes, the black knight on the black horse. I have obtained the golden ring from the golden dragon. Now I may ask for the hand of your daughter, the Princess Romana?”
“Before you can marry my daughter,” replied the king, “you must also obtain the emerald ring from the green dragon.”
“I shall do that,” said the knight and he rode off in search of the green dragon.
The green dragon was in its lair. “Who goes there?” it said, hearing the sound of approaching hooves.
“It is the black knight on the black horse. ”
“Not the black knight on the black horse?”
“Yes, the black knight on the black horse. I have come to claim the emerald ring from the green dragon, with which I may marry the king’s daughter, the Princess Romana”
The green dragon gave the emerald ring to the knight and he rode back to the castle.
“Who goes there?” demanded the gatekeeper.
“It is the black knight on the black horse. I am here to see the king.”
“Not the black knight on the black horse?”
“Yes, the black knight on the black horse.”
“Very well, you may enter.” The knight entered the royal chamber.
“Who is it?” boomed the king.
“It is the black knight on the black horse.”
“Not the black knight on the black horse?”
“Yes, the black knight on the black horse. I have obtained the emerald ring from the green dragon and now I have come to ask for the hand of your daughter, the Princess Romana.”
“Before you can marry my daughter,” replied the king, “you must also obtain the ruby ring from the red dragon.”
“Then I shall do that,” said the knight and he rode off in search of the red dragon.
The red dragon was in its lair. “Who goes there?” said the dragon, hearing the sound of approaching hooves.
“It is the black knight on the black horse.”
“Not the black knight on the black horse?”
“Yes, the black knight on the black horse. I have come to claim the ruby ring so that I may marry the king’s daughter, the Princess Romana.”
The red dragon gave the black knight the ruby ring and the knight rode back to the castle.
“Who goes there?” demanded the gatekeeper.
“It is the black knight on the black horse.”
“Not the black knight on the black horse?”
“Yes, the black knight on the black horse. I am here to see the king.”
“Very well, you may enter.” The knight entered the royal chamber.
“Who is it?” boomed the king.
“It is the black knight on the black horse.”
“Not the black knight on the black horse?”
“Yes, the black knight on the black horse. I have obtained the ruby ring from the red dragon, and now I wish to ask you for the hand of your daughter, the Princess Romana.”
“Very well,” said the king, “you have obtained all three rings. You may ask for the hand of my daughter, the Princess Romana.” The knight was escorted to the princess chamber.
“Who is it?” asked the princess.
“It is the black knight on the black horse.”
“Not the black knight on the black horse?”
“Yes, the black knight on the black horse. I have completed the tasks of obtaining the golden ring from the golden dragon, the emerald ring from the green dragon, and the ruby ring from the red dragon. Your father has granted me permission to ask for your hand in marriage. So, fair princess, will you marry me?”
“Nah.”



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