Actual Medical Chart Notes
*Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
*Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
*On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared.
*The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
*Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
*Healthy-appearing decrepit, 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
*The patient refused autopsy.
*The patient has no previous history of suicides.
*Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
*Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the last three days.
*She is numb from her toes down.
*Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
*I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
*Skin: somewhat pale but present
*The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
Rate this Joke: