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Dear Itv, I Have Had A Brilliant Idea For A Tv Sho… – Joke Jokes


Dear ITV,
I have had a brilliant idea for a TV show while I was at a friends barbeque watching the England v Germany game.
The ITV could do a program for every time England need to do a squad selection for a football game.
It would be exactly the same format as the current ITV show Take me outbut with a twist, the twist is the public could vote for what players they actually want to see playing for England.
Kind regards,
Theo Walcott.



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I Was In Tesco Today When I Noticed A Little Old M… – Stupid Jokes


I was in Tesco today when I noticed a little old man struggling to get something from the top shelf.
“I can’t reach it, I can’t reach it” he kept saying to himself.
I walked over and said, “I can do that.”
I took my shoes off, knelt down on top of them and said, “I can’t reach it, I can’t reach it.”



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My Wife Came Home From Work And I Said, “Nice Day?… – Joke Jokes


My wife came home from work and I said, “Nice day?”
She said, “It was pretty weird. People kept giving me funny looks”
I said, “Really, how strange? Maybe it’s to do with the mirror I broke this morning?”
She said, “You mean … the bad luck?”
I said, “No, because you weren’t able to see the Hitler moustache I drew on your face while you were sleeping”



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I Was Walking My Dogs Through The Woods Today , Wh… – Irony Jokes


I was walking my dogs through the woods today , when I came across a man tying a rope with a noose to the branch of a tree.
” Everything all right mate ? ” I asked.
” Fine ” , he replied.
It’s good we live in such a civilised country.



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