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I Got My Exam Results Today And It Said I Had Fail… – Stupid Jokes

I got my exam results today and it said I had failed every single one of them. This lad with all A* was leaning of my shoulder looking at my results when he said, “Don’t worry mate, you will get a top of the range council flat with them.” To which I replied..
“It will be your hard earned money paying for my benifits which will be going towards a bag of weed so I don’t know why you’re so pleased.”

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Me And Some Mates Were Discussing Our Most Memorab… – Wordplay Jokes

Me and some mates were discussing our most memorable birthday presents when we were kids.
I said, ” I remember when I was six, I asked for one of those purple Choppers.”
One mate said, ” I wanted that bike.”
I replied, ” Me too but I just woke to find my dad by my bed with his pyjama’s open.”

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